If I die, I forgive you; if I live, we’ll see.” —Spanish proverb 

If you want, if you are serious about being on the lighter side of your days, forgiveness is not an option. I know —don’t you hate that? But it’s true.

Everyday situations arise with family, friends, in your work environment and with total strangers, where forgiveness is one of your liberating options. It is a quality worthy of cultivation, and on this planet of seven billion plus, forgiveness needs to be woven into the very fabric of our being. 

Incorporating more joy into your life without forgiveness, is like painting your house before scraping. You have to clean house before the paint can adhere. It might look good for a while but the paint will peel in a matter of time —and your neighbors will question your cognitive capacities.

“If you devote your life to seeking revenge, first dig two graves.” — Confucius

Bitterness, anger, hostile resentment and the fear of being hurt and humiliated again will own you, exhaust you, rob you.

Simmering anger and hateful preoccupation will mentally, emotionally and physiologically take their toll. I’m exhausted.

Heart disease.

Immune suppression.

High blood pressure.

Depression.

Lower self-esteem.

Loss of friends and family. 

Possibly ingrown toe nails —not sure.

Forgiving does not mean forgoing justice. It does not mean you are excusing or condoning. It doesn’t mean surrender or that you are weak. It is not contingent on another person being accountable.

There is no time line. “Forgiveness is a powerful choice you can make when it’s right for you, that can lead to greater well-being and better relationships.” Sonja Lyubomirsky

It does not come empty handed; it brings hope. Because it is a choice, it can bring emotional self-confidence, improved compassion, and a better quality of life. Forgiveness reduces depression, decreases anger and anxiety, and lowers blood pressure. 

It is an unbinding, a reclamation of real estate in your heart and head. It is a power move. It is the shedding of helplessness or the feeling of victimization. Forgiveness is a proactive pursuit that comes to completion when an event or individual finally has “ . . . harmless passage through your mind.” ~ Rev. Karyl Huntley

Forgiveness is a verb. Grant yourself amnesty.

Let go of the shadows, make more room for the light, for what brings you peace, and a greater sense of joy.

So, put down the chain saw. Step away from the chocolate.

Move your body.

Clear your space.

Breathe deep.

Shift your perspective.

Be mindful of what it is you dwell on, stay on the lighter side.

Here’s a no-brainer: do something for someone else—anything.

Hang out with people you like and love. 

Make room for grace.

The door will open to a wider space, into the flow of a more joyful life.

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